No awkward lesbian experiences without me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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