My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
pop tarts are not kleenex
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
