Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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