im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
