Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
