Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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