I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
