Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize