I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
