i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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