That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
