hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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