hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
