I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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