the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
