8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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