Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
