Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
