just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
