Cold hands, warm shart.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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