I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
