did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
