3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize