I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
