remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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