I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
