I met the friendliest cop last night
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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