Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize