I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize