Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
