We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
