Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
