Well douche your snatch and let's go!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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