the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
