I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
