I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
