i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
