wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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