whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
