I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
