just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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