wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
