why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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