She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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