Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
