Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
