His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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