so that wasnt chicken after all
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
as a side note pls kill me
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
