I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
