dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
