All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize