Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was

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(254): View more from Texas

you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room

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(240): View more from Maryland

I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong

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(661): View more from California

Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

(1-661): View more from California

What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

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(239): View more from Florida

Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"

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(315): View more from New York

No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.

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