waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize