You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
