on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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