remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Alive.
So much puke
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
