if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
