I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
