ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
