my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
